We all get that feeling of ugh when we need to have ‘that conversation’ with someone in the team. Instead of nipping it in the bud, we find excuses to put it off – which just lets the ugh feelings grow.
Why does the long, drawn-out pain of anticipation seem better than the pain of actually doing something? Why is it easier to shrink than to face our fears and do what has to be done.
It’s because we get too caught up in our own needs and emotions, instead of focusing on what our team needs. Being a gutsy leader means respecting your people enough to tell them what they need to hear (respectfully, of course). It also means respecting yourself enough to do what needs to be done.
Of course, if you’ve invested in professional intimacy, then those conversations wouldn’t be nearly so hard and the ugh feelings would go away.
Our Insider Tactics
Here are My Personal Tactician’s top tips to help you get your head out of the sand:
- Think about short-term versus long-term pain from both your own and the other person’s perspective – list the impacts on both of you and you’ll soon see that it’s actually a lot easier to act than you think.
- Take some time to plan for the meeting (use our conversation planner here)
- Don’t put off setting up a meeting to talk about the problem, if you’ve invested in professional intimacy the meeting invite won’t be alarming
- Be bold and make your expectations clear – and be specific about the consequences of not meeting them. Make sure you keep some written notes – just in case you need to take this further.
- Stay focused and follow up when you said you would.
- Give your HR team a heads up and involve them if there’s any chance of it becoming a formal performance or discipline issue.
The issue won’t fix itself. Having ‘that conversation’ can be tough, but not as tough as living with the consequences of doing nothing. You don’t want a protected species in your midst!
To discuss putting any of our tactics in place, contact us
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ANZ Community Business
"The Gutsy Pitching program was fantastic. The theory was helpful to reframe how I thought about pitching, and the practice sessions were fantastic at helping me to refine the art of pitching. The masterclass helped me to notice ways to improve all the small elements from the way I spoke to my presence in the room."
Tactician's Leadership & Culture program is one of the most interesting training programs I have ever been through. It has given me tools to become more effective in every area of life whilst reducing stress and improving relationships across the board. I would recommend it to any company that understands the value of good culture in an organisation!"
"I would highly recommend the Gutsy Culture program, it takes all the fluff and bubble out of "culture". As a team we've got a much tighter grip on what a great team culture really looks like and are on the right track now to implementing some actionable steps. I've personally gained a lot out of the program; the direct feedback received from the surveys and the A-grade coaching has really helped me. I've also seen our team grow a lot under this program, everyone is pulling towards a common goal and taking on more leadership responsibilities. An accurate measure for me if a coaching program is worth it, is how the team responds, and the response has been fantastic! Thanks again."
"I am always one to be a little nervous and hesitant from that coming into situations and workshops where I have to open up and expose myself. Even if was still a little shaken from pushing myself, I felt so much better off for facing that fear and a lot more confident in myself, not just pitching."
FDC Construction and Fitout
"Rod’s mastery of the art of presenting was evident both in the delivery of the workshop and tactful tutelage of participants."
"I found the Gutsy Presenting program both challenging in terms of looking within and how I communicate (the video doesn’t lie) and rewarding in terms of my learnings."
Senior Project Manager
"I just wanted to share how much of an impact the program had on me. It really was probably the most impressionable professional development course I have done, and I have your techniques constantly on my mind."
"I had the pleasure of engaging in a coaching relationship over the past 12 months and cannot speak highly enough of the experience. The sessions were candid and direct whilst at the same time afforded the opportunity to be self-reflective, my Tactician’s style challenges you in a positive and constructive manner."